#commonness

Today was really terrible day. I don't remember when was the day like that before. Now I feel my self like squeezed orange. Don't have energy any more. My chief became really crazy after day when director in organization where I work was fired. Now my chief works instead director too, and he has twofold work as before. I can understand him, this is really difficult for him. But my nerves can't stand it any more. Every day work becomes the harder and harder and chief becomes the more angry. He screams almost every day and asks me to do things what I never did before. But today's work day cut the ground from under my feet. I did things what can't be stowed in my head. Never. I saw that part of my work that I never saw before. And would be better if I'd never see it. Almost all day I wanted to stop and cry because about things like these in Belarus says "впихнуть невпихуемое". In few words it means "to do impossible things". I'm tired of chief's asking every day about things like that. But today was deadline. I hated my work before but today I really started to thing that it's time for looking new job. I can't say more precisely what happened at my work but now I feel myself really bad. I forgot about everything - about course work, about funfics, about football, about bicycle. At work today everything what I wanted - it's to go at home, lay on the couch, cover by coverlet and forget ebout everything what links with work. It was so stressful for me that I still can't get it over. I know that sleeping is the greatest cure. And I hope that I could fall asleep fast tonight. And I hope more that I could feel myself better tomorrow. Because tomorrow I'll have to back at work and start to do impossible again cos' my chief wants it. And the greatest horridness of this day is that when will come the time to take the consequences it would be really the end. Who will answer? Of course, me. Who else? Doesn't matter - I wanted to do it or not. Doesn't matter who said me to do it. Doesn't matter why I did it. At the end I will be athe edge and it will be only my fault even if in real it's the fault of my chief. At the end I'll be alone as usual it happens in the same cases. People could be really cruel and you do nothing with it. At the end it will be really your fault, you'll stay alone to answer for things what you had to do cos' you didn't have other way to do. Today I was faced with the harsh reality and it was really painful and scareful. And now I don't know what to do any more. Seems I just have belived in the better side of people more that I should. And this is really my fault.
I just want tomorrow to be better day than that. I wanna forget about this fucking work and just stay alone.